Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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