She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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