11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
