At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
