I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Randomize
