Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
