I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
