Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
