Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
it's like iHOP with fire
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
