it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
