On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
