in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
