Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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