i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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