My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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