wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
There's always time for handjobs
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
