just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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