we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
