yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
My bed smells like the plague
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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