As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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