How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
she smelled like a LAN party
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
