bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
