i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
