She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
