i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize