Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
