Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize