If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
