"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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