i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
