To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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