Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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