the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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