im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
