Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
