Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
