What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
