Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
