all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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