i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
