Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I wannas sexs uuuuu
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize