just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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