Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize
