just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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