There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
