I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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