I like my sex mixed with concussions.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
This is my life. Enjoy the view
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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