new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
