ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Randomize
