mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
should my penis look like a turkey
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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