wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
