STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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