just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
