Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Farmville is her only friend.
only you would photoshop your dick
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
