Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
