belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
