I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
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