i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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