Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
