Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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